Comedian & Satirist Stephen Colbert, via Pitt News - Scott Gries

Listers, many are aware that Stephen Colbert is an accomplished comedian and satirist, but he is also a practicing Catholic and a “Sunday School” teacher.1

Those who seek to run Colbert through a Catholic litmus test may be disappointed to know that many of his personal beliefs remain personal, but fortunately his religious quips and barbs are all public. The following quotes are taken from Stephen Colbert’s excellent book: I Am America (And So Can You!). SPL highly recommends it for those seeking a light-hearted and intellectual laugh. For more on Colbert’s Catholicism, read The Washington Post article, Stephen Colbert May Play Religion for Laughs, but His Thoughtful Catholicism Still Shows Through. Stephen Colbert’s Catholicism came into the spotlight when the comedian decided to testify before a House Committee concerning migrant workers. (Video)

More Colbert: 5 Quotes on Protestantism

Joseph Smith

The Church was founded after prophet Joseph Smith left a lucrative career divining for treasure to find the golden plates containing the Book of Mormon, which describes a visit by Jesus to America after He left Jerusalem. Evidently He was ascending to Heaven, got just above the clouds, and took a hard left.

Boxers or Briefs?

On the plus side, any guy who’s ever agonized over “boxers or briefs” before a hot date should consider Mormonism. They have special underwear, so that decision is made for you.

Where the Wind Blows: Mormonism & Romney

And I’ll give the mormons this: They know which way the wind blows. When American decided that polygamy wasn’t the way to go, the Mormons changed their ways and banned it. They had similar changes in policy when public opinion turned against the traditions of massacring pioneers and believing that all Black people are evil.

Pretty much whenever the general populace decided that Mormons are sinful crazy cult, their leader receives a message straight from God that makes everything OK. This practice continues to this day; you can see it in the way that Mitt Romney was pro-choice when he was running for governor of Massachusetts, but was divinely inspired to become pro-life when he was running for the Republican nomination for president.